We'll make a touchdown.
You get in their way.
They're gonna knock you around.
Oh, and there's one thing we know you again.
Point Jeffrey got fair here.
Border Hagen Hope another team the defense is gonna paying Steel Curtain.
Spellers here we g o Pittsburgh's going down the Super Bowl Thursday night rocking and rolling Big time action Spurs with eight and already ****ing joined the broadcast.
We're coming with all the energy, Everybody's quarantine Everybody's flipping out Everybody hates life, but not us, Baby, We're Jorgen Beers.
Yagan Beer The shears Cheers.
Everyone out there.
Everybody stuck in the quarantine.
You know, a lot of people down on themselves lately thinking this is never gonna end sports or canceled.
A lot of people said, Hey, you guys started a ****ing sports media site in the middle of a global pandemic.
First of all, no, we didn't.
We started it before the global pandemic two months before the global pandemic to be exact and the ****'s gonna end, we're all gonna come back.
It's gonna be great.
Let us know how our audio sounds.
Let us know how Steve sounds.
We've got some complaints.
Last steps so that Steve wasn't loud enough.
Steve, how loud are you? It was Was it really not loud enough? I didn't watch the replay.
I think it was my fault because ah ah, ****.
Yeah, I went to go turn, You know? You know, I like to, like, politely fade out the intro music.
Well, I accidentally politely faded you down, so Ah, that'll do it.
You have ****ing huge mistake.
So we got some big news.
Let's start off with the friendly video for all the fans out there.
Let me bring up ****ing all the **** I can control.
This is ah, what's going on in the Bronx right now? Good man.
Always killing does that? 1st 1 is so brutal.
You can tell each one.
He's He's got a little bit less momentum behind it, you know? Well, like that 1st 1 he's absolutely rocking at that car.
Yeah, well, by the 3rd 1 literally rocked.
Can Twitter play or what's going on here? See, now what? Now? What are you gonna refresh? Is this gonna work? Okay, here we go.
That sounded so brutal.
And he gets the 2nd 1 really hard. Honestly.
He hits them all heart.
The 3rd 1 he *****es on the 3rd 1 That was a ***** hit.
Could you imagine what kind of drugs that you have to be on, too? One have that a good idea, Like in your head.
And to do it as hard as he did twice he's killed himself.
Is that him yelling when he hits the car? Is that someone else? I think, actually, who knows that watching that guy's ****ing terrifying.
And I would hate to see that guy on the street.
And then what do you do? What if he starts running at you? He's ****ing naked.
Yeah, And he's clearly a tank like the guy that that ****in SUV, like took a licking.
I mean, I would hate to be that SUV.
Yeah, bad day to be that SUV parked right there.
Davey of part car and ****ing the I'm wondering what's going on.
Well, they should have filmed the well.
I wouldn't get anywhere near the guy, but they should have done a follow up video where they show you the damage to the car? I'm surprised that light casing down the card and break.
Yeah. No kidding.
That was insane.
So that's what's going on in the Bronx.
I love the first comment here is dude went straight from PCP to C t.
That is pretty good.
So that's a good one.
Other news we've got way Had a hoax today.
Ah, big hoax by Burim.
A **** in er Not sure if you're familiar with this Twitter.
You very, very familiar with Barry.
Good old Berry tricked everyone in the world into thinking that Colin Kaepernick signed with the Jets today and Oh, wow. Yeah.
So I did not see that.
Yeah, it was around lunchtime.
There was a ah, a big news story out, and it was trending Colin Kaepernick was trending, and you click it in Sports center.
Uh, although it was buried, it was Mr Macaca ner.
Yeah, he, uh he tweeted as sportscenter that Colin Kaepernick had signed a one year, $9 million deal with the Jets.
That was not true.
That did not happen.
So glad to see the Colin Kaepernick isn't, uh see that he still doesn't have a contract.
Glad to see he's still unemployed.
Like the rest of We're all unemployed now.
If anybody deserves to not be Ah, employed, it's going to get to the back of the line.
He's telling us to get to the back of the line, you know what I mean? He's like, Yeah, he's been waiting for his job back For what, Four years now.
Someone should give him a job.
I was saying this on stream the other day.
The ah, who was the chick that was kicking field goals and the preseason.
Remember, there was, ah, small debate about whether she should play pro football.
Uh, now that you bring about, you know, you don't you don't hear this? No.
So she was a, um I think she was a U.
S soccer player.
I think she played on that team, or I don't know if she has taken.
Probably kick the **** out of the ball.
Yeah, she can kick the **** out of the ball. Jack the beast.
What the **** is going on, man? Anyway, um, she can kick the **** of the ball and she was kicking field goals.
I want to say for Philly.
Who's that filly? Tight end.
Maybe it was Zach Ertz, his wife.
Ah, yeah, that that makes sense.
But anyway, there was a There was a small debate, not a huge debate on people saying she should kick field goals in the NFL.
Why wouldn't you do that? Why wouldn't you do that? Because here's the thing.
No matter what side of the debate you're on, if she sucks it kicking field goals, then let's bring her out.
And it won't take long to prove that she sucks the kicking field goals.
If she's good at kicking field goals woman, then you set the tone.
Yeah, it's It's ****ing three points whether she's kicking it or a deeds kicking it right? Yeah, it's the same score.
So, uh, no harm, No, factually the hatter in there for my, uh, my junior and senior year.
Ah, we had ah, chick kicker in Hi, Scott.
Shut the hell up.
Yeah, Dude, are anything from 35 35 yards in? She'd kick in.
Anything outside of that.
We had a dude kick.
Really? Yeah, because did she? She didn't kick like she didn't have a crazy ah, long range, but it was like automatic.
Like she could not miss.
She was a good night from 35 in. Yeah.
Who kicked the, uh p a.
T s her? Wow, That's grassy.
I never I never knew him great.
And she was, like, really ****ing cool.
Did she shower with you guys? No, e.
I mean, she was a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
One of the guys on the football team.
Well, actually, I think they're married now.
Oh, good for them. Good for her.
That's on the *** price.
Gratz on the *** price Wherever you're at.
Um well, it's interesting because I don't know how you did Call it football practice, but it's much less intimate.
Oh, that's kind of weird word using.
I'm talking about chicks can own it Xhm or intimate.
It's less intense.
I find it was because here's the thing.
In high school you interact with every single player on the team.
But in college, if you are a tight end like my practice was, I was either with the offense during seven on seven or with the O line doing Blocking.
I never saw special teams guys.
I couldn't even tell you.
The special teams guys were I rarely ever saw quarterbacks.
Unless we were doing a drill where it was team or it was Yeah, it was like, Hey, we're I see what you're saying.
Whereas in high school, if you had a female kicker, you would always like the kickers always just stand on the sideline, you know, shows up, kick some extra points, blow a block.
But in college, I don't know, I just feel like you could pretty much go all practice and never once interact with the kicker if you're not on kick.
If you're on P A. T.
You never even see the person.
Yeah, I can see what you mean.
Um, for me, I guess it was a little bit different living in the football house and having basically the entire team over on weekends.
And then, like, no matter what, just seeing everyone on the way over to the walk.
And then, yeah, we did split up.
But when we went from first team and first team D and first team Oh, everyone, By that time at the end of practice was all like in a big group.
Maybe we just ran it a little bit different, See? Oh, yeah, because I don't know how different schools did practice for us.
We we had team at the end, but it was always the first team offense.
Practiced against the scout team defense in a scouting defense practiced against her. I'm sorry.
The first team defense practice against a scout team offense.
So we were Field was split.
Not like in high school, where it's like, Hey, Monday, we do offense or whatever.
Because you only have, like, 45 50 kids and not 110.
Yeah, And in college, it's like you got ****ing everybody and their mother out there.
You got chicks kicking field goals.
You got ****ing So, uh, so did she ever miss or was she pretty much a sniper? Actually, I I don't think that she ever missed.
I think she was 100% in games.
Dan, let me look.
Let me look this up.
Did you have to get special shoulder pads to fit her ****, or was she just not well endowed? Now you see this shelter for small shoulder pads.
Well, you don't even really need shoulder pads if your kicker, you know, it was funny too, because we would get some guys like my junior year.
We were eight, eight and two.
I think we're really, really good.
Yeah, good squad and teams would get so ****ing mad because we would just beat the ****ing dog **** out of a ballgame and then and then trucked out there, girl to hit the X.
You have your client? One dude like, broke through the line and just basically shoved her to the ground for no reason.
Got a 15 yard penalty roughing the kicker like it was obviously, like a ****ty move.
All 10 dudes on the field.
Like **** this dude off.
Yeah, like No, it was It was cool.
I really liked her.
Just you told me the most popular girl in school.
And she was Ah, ****ing stud.
Soccer player, too.
So she played soccer and yeah, yeah, she played soccer in the spring, and, um, she probably had a pretty strong legs, I bet.
No, I think women's soccer is in the fall.
It's a false board.
Yeah, or maybe? No. I don't know.
No, I could be wrong.
I my 10 year in college. I did.
I got a lot of days and drinking that was a memory isn't is good.
Is what? How did she loved you? She was.
How did she look? Oh, yeah.
Dude, she's easy on the eyes.
Oh, man, that's a turn on.
I like chicks who are good athletes.
Like, if a girl is ****ing good at golf, that instantly gives her at least 0.
8 more in my book.
See, I'm the complete opposite with golf.
Really? Like it is like, if you don't golf, that's awesome.
But I don't want to golf with my girlfriend.
Yeah, that's true.
That's like I go golfing to get away from my girlfriend.
What if you just had some chick that you just golfed with her, But she was hot and she was good at golf, and she did.
And she could gun bears, and she could gun beers.
But you never It never It was strictly platonic.
You could never get a piece.
Yeah, that's fine.
Would you have that relationship? Would you have that.
Absolutely One of the boys.
See, you're not a massage.
You're not like that.
And GI Joe, Joe and Nick from N y.
Both joined the broadcast.
Waco? What's up, buddy? Hey, I have a real quick nick.
I filled out the, um, the schedule.
I don't think so.
Is that Nick shoot back? Yeah, for men.
Why? What's going on, Nick? Nick gave you starting off.
Chicks being good at sports, you know? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Steve in his college football team had a girl who kicked field goals from 35 yards and five in.
So what? What was that? She just didn't have the leg strength.
The pound, Like a 40 yarder.
Dude, she was, like, 53 Yeah, like one 100? Yeah.
You know what I mean? So you could you could get so much power out of her.
So who is the kid? Who was the kid that was kicking the long fuels? Was he a kicker? Was he like the punter or what? No, he was the guy that did our Kickoffs.
Okay, I'll tell you what, He had a ****ing boot, but he was just inaccurate because I think he just had so much of a problem where he would think about my, um my golf swing off the tee box.
Yeah, you ****ing Aisling is harder.
And there's a lot of times it's, like just 2 75 down the middle. Great shot.
But then there's also a lot of times that it's, like four fairways over and has the worst tail coming off it ever.
You know what I mean? Right, Right.
That's essentially how how you kicked? Yeah.
So any time that he I felt that he was a little bit more in, like did he could in practice, he was making 50 yard field goals, you know? That's ****ing practice, right? Let me go.
I mean, still let me 50 or 10 times I had a 50 yarder.
I don't know about that.
No, probably not.
I remember when I was younger.
I used to be like, Oh, you watch the NFL.
I could ****ing throw the football 60 yards.
60 yards? Yeah, I want I want alligator, punt, pass and kick contest.
Back in the day, I couldn't do all that.
And then you got on the radio, Maybe dime north, or I'll show you digger and you got on the field and you get a ****ing GSD in your hand.
It feels like a rock.
You throw it like you throw like, a 30 yard wobbler, and you're like, You can't threaten the football through my shoulder out.
I can't do this.
That's like you going to get your ****ing golf clubs fitted when you tore every muscle in your body? Couldn't for the rest of the way.
The next three days was ****ing brutal.
Steve told me the funniest stories.
Like, dude, I went to go get fitted for a new driver the other day.
Oh, really? You're getting new driver.
What's wrong with your old one? Nothing.
I just wanted a ****ing go rocks and balls down ****s.
All right, All right.
So I go in and I needed a stronger flex shaft on my driver.
Yeah, because you do battle.
Look, I'm not gonna admit it.
A lot of guys they ****ing they try to, like, have a huge **** and act like they ****ing smack the ball and they swing really hard.
I probably outweigh you 3 to 1 and you ****ing hit the ball way further than I do.
And he lookin swings are did you ****ing **** good.
I just any Any time that I have the opportunity to sit at the clubhouse, gun four beers and get on the first tee box, it's gonna be a rough day for anyone else in my Carter in my group because I'm gonna hit the **** out of it.
Yeah, you're see, here's what happens.
This is the dearest in my game and Steve's game.
Steve gets up on the tee box.
****ing pipes. One.
You hit it. 300.
Maybe not on a fly, but you roll the ball 300 not a lot of people say they got a lot of people say they do that, but they don't actually ****ing do that.
You nail the ball, I'm always blown away.
I ****ing hit it.
Even if I stripe one, I'm still, like, 50 yards short of where you're at.
But then your problem is when you have to ****ing chip out of the green.
But then then we're then I'm in business because I could ****ing you know, trying to the green and ****ing, you know, try and get up, dude.
That's why ****ing golf sucks.
Every swing that you take is the same amount of strokes so you can hit the ball 300.
But if you can't ****ing chip onto the green, then you're putting for three every time.
Welcome to my game.
Yeah, putting for shipping on for bogey.
We're chipping for par, bud, But no, I I went to get the this new shaft and I went in the guy with the pro that they have a golf galaxy.
He was asked me a couple questions.
I was like, Well, you know, I just hit the hit the ball too high, so I want to get something a little bit stiffer to keep the club a club face a little bit.
Gonna keep its stench more like facing towards Ah, the like, perpendicular What? ****ing whatever to the hole.
So it's not a home run in an elevator shaft.
And I could get, like, an extra 10 to 15 yards straight out, right? Well, what do you have now? They add, I don't know.
Anywhere between 2 65 to 80 he's like, Yeah, All right, let's let's put you in the simulator and in the Senate going so he gives me, like, a different shaft in in all this and, ah, like the brand new tailor made.
So I'm like, Holy ****! Like I'm gonna look like a ****head if I, you know, has already wrongness and without warming up with no beers I swung as hard as I possibly could have and pulled every abdominal muscle if my ****ing stomach and stripe it to 83 this dude goes Oh, wow.
Holy ****, You're wrong.
Well, let's let's go take a look at whatever.
So, like the rest of the time that we're walking around the store, I'm, like, limping with just crippling pain.
Was he was he like, Hey, you want to take a couple more cuts with this one? Like what you're like, actually, you know what? Looking back, I think he might have, and I was like, No, I trust you.
I just ordered on.
It was like, Let's take let's take a couple more cuts just to see if you can actually see I got out like card.
I think I called Matt right off the bat, Matt.
One of our bodies.
And I just like, dude, I just did the most ****ing idiotic thing F So then you had a new driver, but you couldn't ****ing use it for the rest of the year.
You basically out for this out of commission? God, I will never forget.
That was, honestly, probably like the second most excruciating pain I've ever been in.
What's number one? Oh, well, yeah, when I got ****ing run, everybody.
Yeah, but you were kind of blacked out when you got run over by car.
So was that painful when you woke up or painful when it happened? Do you remember that? Actually, I think it was It was scarier waking up and not knowing what the ****? Well, I wake up, I'm in a ****ing neck brace and my face is swollen.
The **** I'm, like, still bleeding.
Out of my years, I'm covered in iodine, like, all over my face.
My tongue is swollen because I ****ing bit it off.
What was the last time you remember before waking up in the hospital the next day? Um, I think dropping the only beer that I got at the bar that we went to.
So you dropped this.
You're dropping a beer and then you go into that kind of weird, like, blacked out drunk state where it's well, here's the weird thing.
So I I don't know what's going on.
I'm like, freaking out.
And then in the hospital, I'm freaking out so bad that, like my heart rate is going up.
So the thing starts beeping and the nurse comes in.
She's like, Are you okay? I'm like, with the glow like doing e can't talk but your tongue off.
And I'm like that I get in a ****ing fight and she goes, No, you got hit by a ****ing car And it's like, you know, in the movies where they'll, like, scan over everything from like the entire movie and like a split 12th clip like sped up.
And you just remember all this **** and I remember like running down the street, trusted, and people walking into the apartment and Matt chasing after me and then the car I'm just like, **** came rushing back to you.
Do you ever You ever Ah, wake up.
Who got a real bad hangover and yeah, I do every day, huh? But like every single day, a split second before you wake up, you actually feel kind of numb and really comfortable.
And you don't really remember quite going to bed.
And you were somewhere.
But I'm like, do that when you're still drunk.
Yeah, that is urine Bonus land.
You get another two hours of just feeling awesome.
But then when you ****ing wake up, it's like the war snap into reality, Ever.
I could only imagine how you felt when you look up at the hospital with a neck brace on your tongues.
God, I'm sitting in the bed and I, like, try try to game like, look around the game, my bearings.
But I can't ****ing look around him like that.
Something like What the ****? No idea What was going on? Um, that's crazy.
I puke so bad they gave me, like, this little condom spit cup horn.
You know more of it.
I have a picture of you.
No, but you know that, um, that night they gave me, like, this little bull in Wayne's world.
When the do they pick up the dude that's ****ed up and they put him in the back.
And Garth goes, if you're gonna spew, spew into this and it gives him, like, a crumpled up Dixie Cup.
Yeah, the little big.
That's essentially what they gave me.
So I have a picture of it.
Looked It looked like a big blue condom that they wanted you to spit in.
No, no, that was next. That was day after.
That was That was a totally different thing.
That was the better.
That was the better version of the you had did they gave me.
Well, they gave me that because I didn't want to puke into this little thing.
So I projectile vomit over the side of the bed with the nurses saying, like, No, you're supposed to puke into that little ****ing Dixie Cup that we gave you.
Are you Are you ****ing serious? What were you throwing up from the meds? No, From the alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, unless you followed it up.
At least you had an encore of the very next weekend when you got arrested.
That was the very next weekend.
That was like it was pretty close.
That was That was my first week out of the neck brace.
Okay? First usually got arrested in the neck.
Can you imagine sitting in the drug tank and so ****ing ass sports shows up in a neck brace? A man.
That's ****ing funny.
So I wanted to tell I wanted to tell my favorite golf story since you told one of yours.
And Ah, there was this time I must have been ****ing holy ****.
My dad used to take me golf in all the time when I was such a pain in the ass.
Like you imagine Haber tried to golf with someone who's never golfed before.
How ****ing distressful that it's Yeah, it's bad.
My dad used to take me all the time.
****ing God bless his cotton socks, and ah, he takes me out.
I must have been I'm thinking maybe 11 11 12 years old. Wow.
Yeah, really put him through their ****ing ringer on real ****ty age to go Try swinging a golf club and ah, we used to go out Rose Ridge gone up.
Aaron Rose, right? Yeah, that's where that's where he trained me to golf down up there.
And And, uh so Rose Ridge for people that aren't familiar with Pittsburgh or Rose Ridge because even if you are familiar with, but you probably don't know what Rose original I went.
I went through 27 years of living in Pittsburgh, and never even hearing of rosaries is the biggest **** hole golf course in the world.
It's basically like a dive bar that they built in the middle of a field.
And then some ******* got drunk with a lawn mower and decided to cut out fairways.
They're like, Oh, let's just look and turn it into a golf course So it's like it's in the winter.
It's a ****ing a shooting range.
Yeah, and in the waste our time, it's a gun range like number 16 is just littered with bullet holes and, like shell casings you like, go to swing you, like, ****ing hit a shell casing on your backswing.
So anyway, for the ****ing par three loving it up, you get plugged into Ah, 50 caliber.
Shall I hold on the ****ing ground? So there's a So it's the perfect place, though, to take your 11 year old kid on a Gulf trip or whatever the **** you wanna call.
It's not like a trip, but, uh, because it's like $14 to ride 18 holes, and that was just two years ago.
That was the price.
So when I was 11 it was probably probably ****in like Bought three beers at the clubhouse and they gave you a round of golf for free.
So, uh, we were playing this.
It's a par three.
Number two and the It's a real short hole, but the entire right side of the hole is a big hill.
It's you go up a hill, it's a hillside.
Ah, and it's grass up about 50 yards.
And then it's Woods.
Well, when I was a kid and probably still ****ing today, my biggest problem was I'd ****ing push the ball right off the tee.
So I hit a ball off the tee and it goes up onto the hillside, not into the woods, but on the hillside, and we can see it so me and my dad would get in the ****ing cart and we're going up the hill side and it's wet and the ****ing cart.
Lo and behold as we're climbing up the hillside, which we shouldn't have been ****ing trying to drive a car up to the ball.
He should have made me walk.
The ****ing cart starts spinning and it's spinning pretty god**** fast, like we're ****ing were out of control.
And we're heading towards back down the hill towards the cart path.
And as we're spinning out of control, if we ****ing hit the cart path, yeah, it immediately, it's immediately ****ing catapult us out.
Whoever is the unlucky one and the other person's gonna ****ing naval pavement.
Luckily enough, though, the cart is spinning.
It hits the cart path like perpendicular like a draw.
It just yeah, drives across it, But because we hit it so hard, we, like, basically bounced off of it, and it throws my dad out of the car.
Now I'm a ****ing 11 year old kid.
Never drove a golf cart barely ever golfed in my life.
I'm ****ing flipping out.
We're spinning out of control.
I'm basically in a traumatic car accident of the my dad is holding on with, like, his right arm to the steering wheel because we just nailed the cart path and he's being dragged through the fairway and we're heading towards a ****in, um, there was like, a lake or some kind of like ravine.
Like that little pond right there? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
So we're heading directly towards that like we're on the we're on the right side of the fairway and on the left side of the fairway is a ****ing pond, and we're not going very slow.
So my dad's like trying to steer The ****ing carpet is being dragged and he just lets go cause he ****ing, like, basically got mauled by the cart path and the cart runs his arm over So the current runs his arm over.
Now he's, like, ****ed up, laying in the middle of the golf course.
I'm on the cart by myself, like 11 years old, like looking a popular idea, and I don't know what to do.
My dad's Yoni is like, hit the brakes, hit the brakes, and it's like, what was the ****ing right? So he's telling me to hit the brakes, telling me to steer the cart.
I just ****ing dive out.
I'm like, **** it.
It's gonna go out about I bail on this cart and now we're both laying in the fairway looking at this card, and it's driving towards the ****ing her feeding it like, I mean, at the time, I don't know.
Like I don't have a concept of money.
My dad's probably like has ****ing He's like, Mr Crabs like money in his eyes just going down the drain.
Has he seen this ****ing car? About to just be destroyed? Like, totaled.
And the cart gets probably 15 yards away from the ****ing lake and just ghost turns and makes a ****in 90 degree turn left and just ****ing comes to a gentle stop.
And just that was it.
That was the end of the ****in, like most Carly Shay.
So my dad's ****ing arm is like, destroy.
All of our clubs were all over the ****inplace, like golf balls, gloves.
All this there was there.
Was there anyone behind you that witnessed it? I don't think so.
No, I don't think so.
I think actually, we were playing in a large group and him and I were the last two.
Because if you're dead, you know, ****ing bring up the rear is gonna take forever.
And, uh and so I didn't play like the next ****ing five holes.
I had so much adrenaline coursing through because I've never been like by now have been ****ing I've been in a car.
I get in a car accident once a year now usto normal.
You don't need a veteran.
It card accidents now, but, uh, I actually flipped a cart to two or three years ago.
Uh, up time, Asta, me and Rico are ****ing driving, and I was just going too fast.
In all of a sudden, I'm coming up over like I'm trying to cut between holes because there was, like, a rain delay or something, and ah, going too fast.
And all of a sudden there was a hill that I didn't I wasn't expecting, and we ****ing skidded out and flipped the card over.
****ing **** was everywhere.
People were comes up.
I've never flip the cart, knock on ****ing this.
Whatever fake wood this table is.
Yeah, it's Ah, it was okay.
I mean, we just flip it back.
I think that cart was fine, but I'm not gonna tell you what course.
Well, I already said up tired. Nesta.
They're kind of stuff down there.
Tiredness? Yeah, we flip the ****ing golf court, but I figured I'd tell a good golf story, so that's good ****. Yeah.
Got any other gulf tails you want to tell? No.
I mean, you can see I've got my my tailor made golf hat on today.
Did I'm I'm missing golf a lot.
This would make quarantine so much better.
Yeah, it's like the one sport.
I mean, I understand you want to set the precedence for everyone.
Kind of taking it easy and not ****ing going out.
But golf especially.
Look, are you talking about watching golf or playing golf playing? Yeah.
I don't give a **** about watching it on TV.
I am watching it.
I love one that's, like always just a pleasure.
Like I don't follow along for it's like, Oh, the players is this weekend.
I can't ****ing wait.
It's like me flipping through the channels and, like, ****ing 2.
****ing players Championship is on. Holy ****.
This is ****ing awesome, like you know? So it's It's always like, a nice surprise when there's a big storm and all, but I don't necessarily, like, give a **** go out of my way to watch.
Right? But as far as playing goes, dude, the weather is warming up There is a lot of people that air cramped up indoors right now.
I mean, it's it is literally the easiest.
Literally, literally, literally the easiest place as like a necessity to stay open like this is keeping dude sane.
Yeah, and it's crazy.
Like if you're gonna have us any activity or sport that is conducive to social distancing.
Yeah, as an article, Bobby Back nine.
Good old Bobby Back nine.
The golf writer for Jago Sports.
All calm head on over to jago sports dot com.
By the way, you've got some great articles.
Head up to the YouTube.
We've got some funny Ha ha ha.
Um, entertain yourself while you're locked inside.
Um, But Bobby back nine wrote an article five things that make golf the best quarantine sport ever.
And the fact is, golf courses that are still open around the country they're raising.
Have you seen this? They raise the cup like an inch out of the ground.
So you just have to put at it and you don't have to make it.
Yeah, yeah, you just hit it.
And if you hit the cup, then that's good.
And like, I'll tell you What if that was the way golf was played? Actually, that whole thing I would be I would be a 1,000,000 strokes under par.
Yeah, I would be a lot better to actually think.
What was it? Desire? Golf.
You follow Zire golf, right? Yeah.
When they have the old dude that just, like, was gone.
And so is from six.
You know, when you have, like, a two or three flick pot and you it's it breaks pretty hard, but, you know, the job.
Putting through the break.
Really great ****ing heat on that one.
He's, like, 7 to 8 feet out, just crushing them right at it.
The worst ****ing thing.
The worst missed putts ever for me have been if you hit it too hard, but you hit dead center of the whole, and it ****ing skips over the hole and bounces in.
Just lands, like right on the other side of it.
Yeah, it cuts out.
Yeah, that's something that won't happen in quarantine.
Another thing that's awful for me.
Personally, I've never made I've made some really nice putts.
Especially last year.
I made some ****ing excellent putts like 50 foot putts.
I think I made two two putts somewhere in, like, the 50 foot range.
And, uh, and I have witnesses.
This isn't a tall tale, but I've never in my life hits any approach shot that's gone in.
I may be chipped in from the fringe before, but I've never hit like 100 yards or 80 yards out and ****ing cupped it like that would be awful.
And, ah, one time last year, I ****in basically did that, but because the flag was in the ball ****in like, hit the ground and then was going to go in and ****ing hit the flagstick and bounced out.
And it was like if the ****ing flags that wasn't there, it probably would've swished in.
And I was ****ing furious about it.
Yeah, I'd be ****ed, too. Yeah.
Where was that at? That was during league play, so Okay, Yeah, I play in a league.
Uh, I'm pretty serious.
Not not a big deal.
Me and Bobby back nine actually play in the same league.
That's how I know him.
That's how I got him into the ah, the sports writing business.
So go over to jack outsports dot com, check out his articles speaking of Jack on sports dot com, We had a couple of big fans make videos for us this week.
Should we show that we had fans? Spec videos? Yeah, we had a couple fans.
Hey, make some videos for us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
WeII showed the one last week on the show, but we will show it to you guys with some context.
This is Ah, Carmela.
Bella, I'm not sure who she is.
How much for what her profession is.
Um, but she's she's pretty attractive.
And she made this video for us.
I'll tell you what I think.
$5 just want to let you guys know that a man the creeps jagoff sports dot com must be really ***y, funny and definitely the type of man I want to be with.
So don't forget that if you read Jack of Sports that come, you should hit me up sometime.
We can wear what you want.
I think you lots of kisses and all my love business.
So, uh, that's Carmela.
Bella, what is her name? Uh, so her message to anyone out there is that if you're a fan of jagoff, sports and you read the articles on jagoff sports.
Ah, woman like her thinks you're very smart.
Thinks you're very funny And, uh, you should you should reach out to her.
So I mean, you know, she's not much, you know, Here's here's what you need to d'oh.
You need to make your tinder and bumble profiles your bio.
Just put I read Jaguar sports dot com and you'll get flooded with messages.
Yeah, with of women that look like hurt now Hey, she's a very attractive woman.
I'm a married man, so I would never, um I would never gaze upon thy neighbor or whatever the hell they say in the Bible.
You know, I'm a god fearing Christian, but if this woman is your cup of tea, listen, there's certain ways you can go about attracting women like this.
Number one is, you know, have a six pack and a huge ****.
Probably what 1% of men out there have that.
So 99% of us are on the other side of the boat.
Uh, number two is be a millionaire, and that's even less amount of people I would imagine.
And then number three, apparently is just read.
Jackoff supports articles.
So So if you don't have a ton of money or you don't have a huge horn, just read jagoff sports, That's all.
That's all you gotta do.
Yeah, And chicks like that will be totally into you.
We got another, um, fan submission.
This is from Frank the Tank, a big time Mets fan and a contributor over at JAG Off sports.
I'm sorry at the other.
Who's the Who's our number one competitors? Barcelos Predator? I I would hardly say that.
That is a competitors.
There were there, not a competitor, but they're they're just a little sports blood like us.
This is Frank the Tank.
A jagoff sports staff.
Ah, pits, but more like steps.
Still sitting in love did.
Frank is so great.
What was the last time the pirates been relevant? Ones lost on the pirates. Been irrelevant.
Was it last decade? No.
Was in the two thousands was in the nineties.
Was in the eighties.
Although the parrot was selling drugs.
That's about the only thing that the pirates known from the eighties, like a pitcher parrot with someone drugs to the players outside his ****ing mascot head.
So that's Frank The tank shown this big love Big shout out to Frank the tank.
Big shout out to ah, tow bar stool guys.
Barstow guys putting jagoff on the map, man.
And they added, So we've got Helena Helena Bella two Not sure how popular she is online.
I imagine she's got, Ah, at least a handful of followers.
And then we've got Frank the tank from Barstow Sports who's given us a big shout out and talking **** on the pirates.
Ah, saying you know, the last time they're relevant was when our mascot was selling cocaine to the baseball players in the eighties.
So exciting, silly.
What if that's if that is the defining moment of the Pirates in the last 40 years? I'll take it.
Yeah, I Well, he said we were irrelevant last decade.
Well, well, because I guess that means the tens, right, Because this is the twenties were living through the roaring twenties.
Man, these are exciting times.
The twenties have been great and ah so the tens was when we were relevant.
The pirates were relevant for a little while.
There we made the playoffs, like, three year, four years in a row.
That's relevant, right? E, I guess.
Too bad we didn't know when day.
Listen, when? When you're a Mets fan and another team, you get the chance to, like, kind of put another team under the bus.
I totally understand where he's coming from.
You know, you When? When Your team that you're a die hard fan for use off, you've gotta take your chances when you have.
So, you know, the pirates of our like known as a farm team.
You knew, right.
Mets, known as the Mets are ****ing ones.
Lost on the Mets were relevance.
They were in the World Series when we were there.
They're always relevant because there a big market team, but they just ****ing stink.
And there's, um ah ah, Never mind.
There's a guy follow.
Let's just put it that way.
Who? He thinks that if you wear a bunch of Mets gears, people think you have special needs, so Oh, well, hey, that's I didn't mean I didn't, uh I didn't say it. Someone else said it.
I just repeated it.
Okay, So far, enough.
So anyway, we're 44 minutes into the show.
We haven't gotten into any of the news other than that guy in the Bronx, apparently, And I haven't looked into this.
I just read the headline, as most Americans tend to do.
Chris Johnson hired two people to kill somebody.
I didn't read the article either.
I was really hoping that you were just gonna read it and then tell it to me live on the show so I could have a live reaction to it.
Well, I guess we're both gonna have a live reaction to it.
This is what's funny.
Chris Johnson tweets.
So what, you can't say? Because he's with the fake name.
Fake news the fake news media has gone to for tuna.
The fake news, All right.
Not not just a little thick, but really fake.
So, uh, Chris Johnson tweets false news following report linking him to murder for hire scheme.
This is like some ****ing Tiger King ****.
Ah, it's that something happens in my life all the time where I think I dislike you actually accidentally get blamed for hire.
So it kills people.
Well, he tweets false news.
Why didn't you just say fake news? It's like, Dude, you are the one that's accused of being linked to a drive by shooting and you're still tiptoeing around using a trumpism like Just ****ing say fake news.
More people will understand what it's false news.
Is that the new fake news? What's the difference between false news and fake news? Who knows? Yes, So, uh, just to read a little bit more? Um, a representative for Johnson told TMC, There's no validity to any of these accusations.
According to T M Z, the accusations are linked to a March 8th 2015 drive by shooting where Johnson and to others he was in a Jeep with were shot.
He was in the Jeep and they were shot at a traffic light in Orlando.
Oh, in good old, wonderful Orlando Johnson and another passenger, Reggie Johnson.
I don't know if they're related or not suffered gunshot wounds to their shoulders when a man from another vehicle open fire on their jeep around 4 a.
So what do you doing drive around 4 a.m.
To any of these guys? What's going on there? The driver of the vehicle.
Orrico Johnson was killed.
So many ****ing people are named Johnson.
How can anyone keep this story straight? The courts would just throw this case out immediately.
Because everyone's name Johnson.
What the hell? So you have got Chris Johnson.
You've got Reggie Johnson, who suffered gunshot wounds, Reggie.
And then you've got drinky ist Orrico Johnson who was killed who rest in peace The Wait a minute.
What is going on here? I'm so ****ing confused.
Court do***ents that state intelligence gathered suggests the shooting was a gang related murder attempt on Chris Johnson.
But I thought Chris Johnson was the one that hired hit.
Unless there's a different Christian, What the **** is going on here? Maybe Maybe it was a retaliatory shooting for them.
Like rolling up on him.
He said he sent the boys.
This is his revenge.
His revenge. Shoot and see.
Hold it. Here is my thing.
How long has he had a girl for a while? That that that's like punishment and not he's been walking around with a grill for, like, the last 17 years.
I just you know, call time care.
The ah, what is this? Website? New York Post says that former NFL running about New York Post former NFL running back Chris Johnson is accused of paying a suspected gang member for allegedly killing two men who shot him and killed his friend in 2015.
So the T m Z or whatever that article we just read was only talking about the what set this whole chain of events off.
How many guys named Johnson can hang out together? That's what's crazy to me.
Are they related? Probably cousins.
That's just crazy to me.
So what's your take on the whole thing? Give me your Kim here.
Unfiltered opinion on this breaking news.
Like they ****ing shot at him and he had guys shoot back like what the ****? You're right. You're right.
You know. Did so.
Hey, you're right, man.
An eye for an eye.
If somebody shot me, I'd probably I'd probably not personally go anywhere near them with a gun, but I'd sure find a way to pay Somebody.
Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly Of course we would.
No, I mean, like Yeah.
Remember Chris Johnson? Gettinshot probably had his cousin brought his cousin like die next to him.
And he was ****ing ****ed.
And like Did If someone murdered your family, would you not like if you had the means to final and put this? Not that I'm condoning murder on sportscasts, right? We would never do that.
But maybe maybe to put you in the same mindset that he is in allegedly alleged, like do.
They're not saying he thought it.
We're not saying he did it.
Let's just clarify.
We're just saying if he did do it, I could I could see why he might have it looking this route of reaction.
That's what I'm saying.
It might not have been.
It wasn't just some random act of violence.
Ah, the guys that already shot him.
We're kind of asking for a legend.
Um, here's my question about this whole thing.
Do you remember Chris Johnson getting shot? Wouldn't that have been headline news? I don't know that.
That's the crazy thing about it.
Like dude, he used to be a like I remember Chris Johnson.
He was a good football player Yeah, he was a good running.
He I think he had the Russian title a couple years in a row.
I think he cracked top three a couple years in a row, and I'm pretty sure he had a rushing title one season.
Now we're ****ing getting on the Google machines that figure out who is the prince in rushing rushing leaders by a year.
Who's going on? Billy's gonna Google at first.
9651 total rushing yards In 2009 he led the NFL with 2006 rushing yards.
What? Yep, Chris Johnson, 2009 for Tennessee On 358 attempts.
He had 2000 and six rushing yards.
Do what in comparison to Larry Johnson for the Chiefs? Uh, what was his best? Didn't he have, like, the record for most yards in a season all time? Larry Johnson.
No, Larry Johnson had 5000 yards in college, and then he had, like, one good year, But he was never the Russian leader, huh? Okay.
Um, so Jamal Lewis in two 1003 had Jamal Lewis.
He was a ****ing stop too.
I'll give you everybody.
That's had over 2000 yards since 97.
Barry Sanders, in 97 had 2053.
Terrell Davis, in 98 had 2008.
Jamal Lewis in 2003 had 2066 Chris Johnson in.
09 Like we said had 2000 and six.
Adrian Peterson, 2012 had 2097 so no one has It doesn't seem like anybody's ever correct.
Oh, no. Here we go.
Eric ****erson in 1984 cracked.
He had 2105 Pretty tense, Pretty intense amount of running Their O.
Simpson had 2000 and I don't know Big a coincidence here. O.
Simpson rushes for 2003 yards in 1980 three's.
The Russian leader that year ends in a three and Chris Johnson in 9 2009 is a multiple of three, although divisible by three.
Yeah, maybe that's what I meant.
Rushes for 2006 yards.
Six is also divisible by three.
I mean, hey, I'm no allegedly both allegedly.
Jay is doing the Roman give him. Romo.
Is not allegedly OJ's innocent as proven by the court legal system, but it was still alleged.
Do you know they allegedly after for unity know who the Russian leader was? It was not left, not left.
It was another Tennessee running back there.
Can't be got at this here.
Actually, I didn't.
It was Derrick Henry with 51 1004 years.
But here's the where.
Didn't get released or traded.
Derrick Henry, you have? I didn't hear that back on the Google machine.
Been pampered, baby.
Being a better dad did it.
He did? Um, no, he did not.
He signed a $10.
2 million franchise tag.
Oh, okay. It was a franchise tax nipper.
What's up? But a in on nippy boy? Yeah.
So here's Here's the thing, though.
Just to get back to the Chris Johnson thing.
I don't remember him getting She wouldn't have been news that he got shot. I don't remember that.
One would think that the hold on.
When When did he get shot? In 2015.
And he was the Russian leader in 2009.
Yeah, but I think he was still in the league in 2015 cause he played for the Jets.
Um, okay, hold on.
Let's go back to this article.
This says that killed two men who shot him and killed his friend and 2015 in Orlando.
Ah, let's see. Chris Johnson.
When did he retire? Retired.
I think he actually had a decent, You know, it's funny.
Didn't he just tweet the other day? Like Dambrot? Going to the Jets was a mistake.
Yeah, like, yeah.
**** broad trying.
So maybe maybe the Jets organization planted this story like off.
Oh, you **** on me? I **** on you.
Allegedly allegedly We've got We've got a big theory.
Or though this is breaking news, you don't get this.
You don't get this kind of content anywhere other than jagoff sports dot coms, Exclusive SportsCastr stream where we stream exclusively.
Oh, by the way, should we talk about, um, yes, OK, go ahead.
I'm gonna look up. Wouldn't win the Christians retire.
So in the lack of sports right now, what SportsCastr is ah is doing.
And Nick, if you're if you're still in here, correct me if I'm wrong and I'm essentially paraphrasing this.
They're gonna have mad and 20 n b a to k.
And do you remember it was MLB or any child? I don't know.
It should be NHL, though.
They should have playoffs right now.
Okay, um, but they're gonna be showing, like, simulated games that Ah, we're gonna be able to cast over.
And, uh, Nick was nice enough to ah, reach out to us, get us involved.
And, um, we are going to be doing stealer Sundays.
So still out the stone.
It's actually ravensweek, which were really ****ing fired up about 4:30 p.
Kickoff on on Sunday.
So when Ah, when everyone is with the fam for Easter and all that, uh, make sure that you sneak out for a little bit to tune into people ****ing swearing and ****.
Yeah, you know, did spending time with the family's tough? Sure, while helping out make sure while you're doing your stupid little quarantine egg hunt in your house and you're not seeing any of your family and Easter is completely ruined.
And you basically if you have kids, you basically have to ****ing tell them that the Easter Bunny is not really because we've been feeding kids bull**** for all these years About how the Easter Bunny's ****ing magic and ah, this Easter bunny, he's magic.
He can wait a minute.
Mom, how does he get all the indoor? How about all these softies? Now? Wait.
But here, look, Here's how it works.
But wait a minute, Daddy.
How does he How does he get into the house? E o He's magic, honey.
It's a bullet, but rabbits don't lay eggs.
How does he lay? He's magic.
He can do anything.
But how does he know that? I wanted this, uh, this game for Christmas.
He's magic, honey.
Oh, but he's not ****ing magic enough to deal with ****ing Corona virus that, like, barely anyone has in the country.
So this is basically we're all coming to a ****in point here in this year.
The Easter Bunny's not really start.
Um, early s****om early.
Just tell your ****ing it's your money's not **** this year.
It's Easter, buddy.
Next year, Santa Claus, the year after its Jesus. Yeah.
Hey, you ****ing blasphemous son of a *****.
Don't you ever ****ing say that again.
All right? This is a family show.
Anyway, you're at, um no, but yeah, we're gonna be doing out on Sundays.
There's a lot of other ah, casters that are on this site that d'oh similar content to ours.
Like satirical stuff.
Um, I'm pretty sure a couple of those guys are ah, are gonna be doing some games like their hometown favorites, so make sure that you guys stay posted on the website.
Uh, obviously www dot SportsCastr dot com.
Um, I believe that they will be putting out a schedule, or they will be, um, just go down to the featured featured channels or featured content channels.
And typically, a lot of those guys will be ah.
Will be doing some of what they have coming up.
Yeah, And it's gonna be Sunday, right? What's what? Time on Sunday? Sunday, 4 30 is gonna be ravensweek for us, Steelers versus Ravens.
And then next week, we have the Cowboys at home.
And then the following week, we got the Bangles, and then it's Bronze Week after the uncles.
So So we have We have, like, a loaded schedule right now.
Johnny's gonna be super ****ed at me.
Sunday's our days.
Now we're now we've got a whole another football season that just came out of nowhere in the middle of nowhere.
****ing mad and made the call.
So, uh, sports will go on.
Maybe we should, like, open up a betting market for the ****.
What do you think, Abby? That'd be pretty cool.
Maybe we could find other SportsCastrs to gamble against.
And because people are going to take the Ravens, right.
You have to think because I watched another one.
It was It was like a mad in stream.
And I think it was the Ravens minus 3.
5 and 12 people.
I was like, I would take the Steelers with the points, and then the Steelers ended up winning out.
Right? Is Ben back right now? Yeah.
I don't have Madden on the PlayStation.
Bends back babies back and ****ing better than ever.
Well, then, dude, the Ravens air fot Yeah, the Ravens air.
****, **** The rain.
Is there Fox Ravens fans, right? You are so ****y because they got ****ing what's his name.
And they think like, oh, we got ****ing what's his name? You heard a rehab your procedure, Ravens fan.
And you have you Do you know we gotta What's his name Like you guys are ****ed.
We got what's his name When we call the actual games next year, if there's a still a football season? Yeah.
Oh, ****ing what's his name? Drop back Scrambles for a 1,000,000 bucks.
We should refuse to say his name.
We'll just call him.
What's his name? Every time I'm that without all of that, What's his name? I'm just gonna first L J's Ah, L J's new name is What what name? What is there? And And this will be What really happens is it will be the end of the game.
The Steelers will get ****ing blown out.
Ben will be ****ing heart, and we'll be like and what's his name? Scrambles out of the pocket again and easily walks into the end zone.
And what's his name now? Has six touchdowns on.
Yeah, but we still don't know his name.
Were still saying What's his name? What's his face, by the way? The way I'm good.
Yeah, Good. Good.
Get No, I'm looking forward to it.
Like I I I so enjoy that we get the opportunity to do these, like, over Skype and ****ing hangouts and ****.
But like any time, we have an opportunity to be in studio shoot the **** crossed some ****ing beers.
She was on the green screen.
Should we put, like, what should we have behind us? Shall we pretend like we're in the in the stands? We have Heinz field behind us or what? I actually tried to reach out to NBC Sports to see if they would send us a picture of, like, the booth.
Yeah, What it is like, You know when, um you know who does.
Ah, who does? Collinsworth? It's Collins.
Well, I Photoshopped that.
That's a great idea, actually.
I Photoshopped the money.
Could have like that when they just go to them.
Yeah, and they're sitting on the chairs.
Yeah, we should have that behind us.
All right, let's do that.
I'll work on that for Sunday, And what the **** in there? We're gonna wear suits and ****.
Honestly, we should We should do.
Ah, suits and pajama bottoms.
Yeah, I like that Skype interview.
You know, it's funny.
This is This was the bad omen our Christmas party this year we did Skype interview attire.
Little did everybody know that it was gonna be a ****ing Skype interview for the rest of 2020? Yeah.
Jesus! Way to go, dude.
Whoever came up with that ****ing idea, All right, What were are an hour and four minutes roughly into the stream.
I think we did good. I think we provided people good content.
Um, you know, you saw some more fans.
You laughed, You cried, you ****in reflected upon.
It was a roller coaster of emotions.
Yeah, and I think we're ready to Ah, say Sion or a Steve.
You got any signing off remarks? Um, no CC and Sunday.
All right, we'll be back on Sunday.
I better go tell my wife now that that's happening.
So, uh, my signing off message is that I have to ****ing **** so bad that I'm literally pinching my ****head closed right now, So Cheers, everybody.
Thanks for rocking and rolling with us on this Thursday, and we'll see you Sunday.
I love you guys.