in Jeppe team could be like my like Asian of just how you triple a midget green shirt team.
Actually, when you're 15 years old, Whoa, Czechoslovakia, we're coming.
We weren't that far, basically, which was a very compelling eight games hockey.
And and there were certainly some so skepticism about traveling.
Wait a lot landing in the frog and there's armed guards at the airport.
I caught me a little bit off.
It was amazing experience to go over there, and we did win a tournament.
We ended up playing the game series with the Czech National midget team, who was then coached by Yuri Holiday.
Check their former national kingbolt.
We spent the Siri's.
We won the 1st 1 We won the 2nd 1 You move on to the O.
H 00 And the NHL is a lot like the Cape Cod League.
Here in baseball, young men move away from their hometown.
They stay with sponsor families.
They're they're known as billets and play hockey.
What do you remember from O.
H L Draft day when the Kingston Canadians chose you in the third round in 1985? Well, I will say for your fans in the New York area, the top rated player at the 1985 away sell drugs was Adam Graves.
And, uh, he was pretty much known of the purifier.
Can't miss prospect at that point.
And, uh, he ended up going in the first round by the Windsor All Tech ended up being Brian for beauty by the Kingston Canadians, and Brian Poverty ended up being a first round draft pick of the Quebec Nordiques in 1987.
And, uh, another name from that draft is Brendan Shanahan, uh, talking about Brendan Shanahan as well.
In my book Shattered, I said he was alive with Adam Graves would have been another one of the most highly sought after young prospects going into the draft.
So it's pretty cool.
Moment went when you end up going and in the book you detail the first day with your and once you go up and how it Yeah, get away Stick wave hockey.
Demeter Support from home is very 17 years old.
For your sake in your eggs.
Really? It's so really especially when you're a rookie.
My anxieties ended up, and then my mental welfare.
Mental really started to take a toll on me.
The pressure builds when you become a pressure to perform and along with the profession that our expectations and a lot of pressure on yourself the time in the oh you lead the Kingston Canadian.
The scoring during the 87 88 season and your three year Ohh career you played in 162 games on Kingston Canadian uniform.
He compiled 64 goals, 102 assists for 166 career.
It's a pretty impressive career.
At what point? Well, that the NHL was a realistic dream for you.
Oh, uh, what were drafted in 1986 2nd round for your overall.
As you mentioned, I went to my first training camp and I have a chapter and shattered ice called Forks quarter and my first camp.
I was 18 years old, um, had a decent start to the camp, and I ended up playing the first exhibition game, which was not defending Capitol Center.
The Ray Bork was right up, which is why I called the chapter Bork's corner, and it was really for me um, Justin.
Great Bordeaux on the other side of the ice.
But one more game against the Devils, up in the metal in.
It was really after that, training him when I thought that I had a shot to be a professional and tell you the National Hockey League mom in the capital signed me to a many stops along the way, feeling the go of that building? Yeah, well, the Montreal one was a legendary arena, and especially in Canada, you go back to the original 60 with the Rangers and the Black Cock and the Bruins by for For in the Red wagon.
Bring Canada strong one. Montreal.
There's it's legendary, the rivalry today, even though maybe not the level it used to be.
That kid's going to the Forum.
You've heard so much about it.
Get hurt so much at night.
I talk in the book as well, about the historic New Year's Eve game with the Russian Red Army in the Canadians in an exhibition game.
We are the New Year's Eve.
We watched it was a country were glued to the television watching this cock exhibition hockey game between these two great teams in the arena home, multiple Stanley Cups and somebody hot historic players who are legends in the Hockey Hall of Fame.
So second into that ring for the first time as an 18 year old after observing legend and four for the 1st 18 years of my life, Um, it was just a thrill in talking to the building of the smell because he it was just amazing.
So what's the first thing that goes through your mind sitting in the Forum when you hear and called as you're drafted? That's one of the most memorable points in my career.
I think I'm making a lot of players would say that, too.
You work so hard to get to that stage and put so much time and effort directed.
And basically that team is saying We I win the Stanley a lot heard in a dream and then letter in your head and you pull it over your head and it's just for a moment that you never forget in this for me is the most memorable moments of my hockey career, for sure.
Still, say Jake are taking one of them in points.
Your book, what you got to write.
The book was basically the three demons have been chasing your entire minor league hockey in the NHL.
You go through an experience like draft that or anything.
How does the Tughan won't go back and forth? You look, you drafted your number 40.
You're questioning yourself also.
How did the demons playing to this implant against what should be a very high moment? Your life? I think I would say I definitely had swagger when I was 18 and drafted.
And I think, uh, one of things that happens along the way is your sustained injuries.
With injuries comes trauma, trauma comes some of the anxiety which leads to some of the mental ofhis.
And, um, you know, for myself, I taught right.
Shortly after I signed my first contract, I tore my first a c. L.
It was a devastating injury and and I took your working through that for five years.
I know for myself personally, fighting always been a part of hockey was knocked out in a fight, which I talk about in the book and you're playing junior hockey.
But the injuries have a cumulative effect, and it doesn't lead to some trial mind, but at that time we didn't talk about it and because we didn't talk about it, you internalize everything.
And in all that pressure wave Joel, are you explode? You expect, huh? That was a difficult thing to maneuver.
It's also interesting because you played for the capital's HL affiliate of the Baltimore Skip Jacks and you describe a H L life.
Terrific Lee in the book in the musical coaches chapter.
Movies on the bus.
Fast food card games, long bus trips.
Doug McClain, who wrote The Forward of your book, is one of those coaches.
There's a great story about Doug and Barry Melrose in the book.
Can you tell our audience a little bit about their confrontation in that hl game that you were in? Yeah, we're playing first round with more.
Skipjacks were playing the Adirondack Redwings.
The Red Wings were favored, I think.
Many of the series by the hockey pundits and, um, you said you had Doug McClain was our coach.
Barry Melrose was behind the Adirondack Redwings bench and we had him on the ropes.
Uh, down 3 to 2.
They were down 3 to 2 in the series.
We're coming back to Baltimore for a Game six and I'm way Adam on the roads were leading.
And as a by Game six, we didn't like that maid like us.
What really? There was an altercation to inform the benches, and the ventures were side by side.
And basically all four teams and all the coaches were writing this little Eric over to the coaches, jawing at each other and, uh, very kind of lost it temporarily started banging on the blast and just given it to Doug McClain so that Mac was giving it back to him.
And in the melee are in the rubble of garage.
While he was found on the glass, the pain became dislodged and, uh, kind of startled.
Everybody our fans were banging on the glass behind the bench is to try to get it.
You have further infuriate Mr Melrose.
And after the referee tossed Barry out of the game, so and we ended up winning that game in winning the series.
What's your fondest memories of the H l fondest memories? Th being a Baltimore I really developed at the crime was one of the best cities in the American Hockey League.
I know they don't have a team any any longer.
Baltimore was a really nice place to play hockey.
I enjoyed all the years I prayed that.
I mean, they're in Orioles town first, for sure.
And now the Ravens? Not Not then, but I wish hockey was still there.
They're friendly people.
They defend that came to the brink, love the team and fully supported it.
It was a great place to spend.
My, uh you had to be in the minors.
All yours. A good city to be in.
I think if I'm not mistaken, Kenny Albert might have been the play by play announcer at that time for the ride that I'm doing everything.
I have a story in the book.
You know, I grew up listening to Marv Albert, and for me, he he was the voice of the Rangers.
He was the voice of basketball and other professional sports that he was the man for me.
So when Kenny came to town knows that even the plate hired in the play by play man of the Baltimore Skipjacks, I was thrilled that Marv Albert son was now in the organization.
Then, uh, just we got to know, Kenny's a super nice guy, and, uh, really easy to remember.
He tipped me off that his parents were coming to the arena, and it was just for me.
It's gonna be a thrill of a lifetime to meet Marv Albert.
Before the game, I just asked Kenny to give me a heads up as a mark.
I found him in the building and I shook his hand, and I just wanted to introduce him and say hello.
Nice to meet you.
And I you know, I love your work.
You're one of my favorite broadcasters.
I don't do that.
And, uh, yeah, there.
It was a real nice chance meeting for me.
You fulfill your life.
Amazing story about your first game in the groom from Baltimore chapter.
As fate would have it, your first game is against the Red Wings.
Your former coach, Doug McClain, was on their staff.
Can you tell us a little bit about you know that moment? You know, during the pregame skate, when you made eye contact and skated over and had a little conversation with Doug? Yeah.
I always tell people Doug was my favorite coach.
I ever played for and him and I, I think part of it.
He he has a master's degree in educational psychology, and we really hit it off.
So going into that following season, first NHL game, you said in Detroit I was nervous as you would be for your first NHL games in a row.
Warm up and Doug was I saw him on the whole bed.
So I thought it would be a good strategy to just go over and say, I don't know, maybe kind of say something like, Good job, kid. You made it.
This baby calm me down a little bit and that's why I started heading towards towards the bench and we make eye contact, and that is that I'm approaching.
I can see that. Say something.
So I leaned in and listen and he says, Hey, I told Robert you're the goon called up from Baltimore and, uh, I immediately went to We just thought you said what the oh, and that was in the heyday when Bob Program was one of the most feared player in the league.
So I go back to the dressing room and Terry Murphy with our head coach.
He calls out the starting lineups that he says, Hunter septal Druce.
You know Dale Hunter was a fiery player in his own right.
Ah, nice goal scoring Linger and myself.
So I thought that was an amazing thrill to be starting that first game right up in the blue.
I'm here, the national anthem.
So I want to know what I'm up against on the left Winger and I looked over together Blue and there's Bob, Program number 24 and he is the right way or I'm gonna be I knew it.
I found out later the book is that unless you were, it wasn't again to give you time of day.
So I really am not in the ER, and I get a memory outfit from Gap.
It's interesting because you spend all that time trying to get there.
You do get in four games.
What do those form games mean to you? Including your final game, which happened to be on a pretty significant date, Especially if you're Yeah, well, before I jump to that game, I said, I got to play the I think the flyers in the spectrum, which along with we talked earlier about the form in Montreal, the Philadelphia Spectrum.
How do you think? That's one thing I missed the boat, the old drinks, that they all had some character.
What? I think we started.
Better Square Garden.
I thought You really think the Boston Garden drinks odd character? So I got to play in the spectrum, which is awesome, but yeah, you mentioned going ahead.
Um, I have a chapter in the book called Been Shattered Ice Cold.
Operation Desert Storm and the fourth game I played was the Capital Center versus the The Islanders.
A Sunday afternoon.
It was right, the beginning of the Gulf War, and they played Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA and, at a ceremony at the beginning of the game to the troops and the branches of the military, played the song and for me personally, when the loudest building I had ever played in.
I've never felt that kind of intensity and passion in the building, and I had goose bumps, I say in the book, standing on the bench of the national anthem.
I couldn't hear the players beside me talking.
Never mind the coach behind me and a goose bumps.
We won the building would feel you have to be in the to be in the capital of your states during the Gulf War.
Sports has a way of big bringing people together.
I think that day it certainly gether made.
Even the City of Washington D.
Was amazing memory I'll never forget.
And it comes through crystal clear in the book.
You actually feel those goose bumps as you're reading it.
You know, we mentioned in the Open had This is a book about your hockey odyssey, but it's also a very truthful account of your hockey experience whilst is that you didn't understand how important was the writing of this book? Um, as far as the healing process for you or coming to grips with the health issues that you had happened, it was huge When I started when the so I went off, Burke and I was in a place mentally, and, uh, I needed.
I'm a psychologist.
Along with that, I started writing the book, and the book really took me back to some dark places.
It maybe visit the visit some times in my life when I didn't understand what was happening to me.
And that's part of the stigma with mental illness that at the time you're back 20 years we didn't talk about it and you're left to deal with it on your own in the world, no avenues.
So I used the book as a method to bring myself back to those that time in my life and kind of figure out why I made some of the choices I've dated.
Some of the bad choices I made certainly help with that.
Initially it was a little dark and my editor said to me to ask me This is the book I wanted to write They said I didn't want it to be all about the mental illness.
I also wanted to be about the joy of the sport.
The love of hockey and the amazing people I met along the way it was Part of the therapy was by writing the book.
It brought the hockey family back to me because I really I had convinced myself that the hockey family had abandoned me and that was really just part of the mental illness.
But by writing it gave me some personal therapy, but it gave me so much communication is love, I guess, from the hockey family, and it's been a wonderful experience that way.
Steve, this is Ryan chairman.
So you mentioned how there's a, uh, not only a stigma to the mental health, but then going back to the physical injuries that guys would it.